Children at weddings can be the best bit. The flower girl who refuses to walk, the page boy who waves at everyone, the gang of cousins tearing round the dance floor at 9pm. But a wedding day is long, and there's a lot of sitting still, which isn't what children are built for.
With a bit of planning, you can keep the kids happy and give their parents a chance to relax. Here's what works.
Decide early whether children are invited
This one's yours to decide, and either answer is fine. But be clear about it on the invitations, and be consistent. If you're making exceptions, like only your own nieces and nephews, explain that kindly so other parents don't feel singled out.
If children are coming, count them properly in your numbers. Venues and caterers often have children's menus and prices, so ask.
The ceremony
Give the youngest ones a role if they're up for it. Flower girls and page boys tend to behave better when they've got a job. Seat families with small children near the end of a row, so they can slip out without fuss if needed.
Bubbles for after the ceremony are a hit and keep little hands busy during the confetti photos.
The drinks reception
This is often the first big wait for children. Lawn games help, as does a soft drink and a snack as soon as they come out of the ceremony. A close-up magician is great with children as well as adults, and kids are often the most amazed in the room. We run Magician For Hire, so bear that in mind, but our magicians always make a point of finding the children.
Kids' table and activity packs
If you've got a few children of a similar age, a kids' table can work brilliantly, with older ones keeping an eye on the younger ones. Very young children are better next to their parents.
Activity packs are cheap and really help during the meal. Colouring sheets, crayons, stickers, a puzzle, maybe a wedding themed I-spy. Put each child's name on theirs, they love that. And make sure their food comes out first. Hungry children waiting for adults to finish their starter is a recipe for chaos.
A children's entertainer
The speeches are the hardest part of the day for children. Long, quiet, and full of jokes they don't get. This is where a children's entertainer really earns their keep.
Set them up in a side room or a corner of the marquee during the speeches and into the early evening. Games, magic, balloon modelling, a bit of a disco. The children have a brilliant time, the speeches go uninterrupted, and parents get to actually listen. Party Magicians is our children's entertainment brand, and weddings are a regular part of what they do.
Make sure there's a responsible adult around too, and that parents know where their children are.
The evening
Children love the dance floor. Ask the DJ or band for a couple of songs early in the evening that kids will know. A photo booth from UK Photo Booth Hire is always popular with children, and the props mean they'll spend ages in there.
As it gets later, a quiet room with beanbags and a film on can be a lifesaver for tired little ones. Some venues have family rooms, so ask when you book. Parents with very small children might leave early, and that's fine.
Practical bits
Check the venue for anything risky: ponds, steep steps, open fires, a road nearby. Ask where baby changing is. Let parents know in advance if there's a quiet room or an entertainer, so they can plan.
And accept that children will be children. Someone will cry during the vows. Someone will slide across the dance floor on their knees. That's half the fun.
For more ideas across the whole day, see our wedding entertainment ideas and how to keep wedding guests entertained.